The fun begins with:
White 2009 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno.
That’s the bike I ride — and if you’re a motorist on the road and plan on running me over, I hope you have a good lawyer, because I might sue you.
Because you see, with all these dangerously inattentive motorists on the road nowadays, doing things like changing songs on their iPods, sending text messages while driving or falling asleep because they can’t get enough sleep to function on the same schedule as 90 percent of the rest of the world, I’m tired of getting run over.
And ends with:
Those are the blinking lights on my white 2009 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno in front of you, and I’d appreciate it if you’d do your best to avoid them.
Well done, Scott.